Just Internet Things: All Accountability Is Relevant

Or, change is a "show, don't tell" action.

A Brief Note (which is ironic because the full essay is not brief at all):

I am putting this behind a paywall because I am going to be incredibly forthright and even what one could call blunt in talking about everything that has transpired because of an essay that was published by my former employer back in May of 2015. I am going to name people in this who I not only worked with and had relationships with, but who are still actively employed by Thought Catalog. I’m going to talk about situations that have probably never had a shred of candidness to them online before from someone who was there experiencing it. It’s vulnerable and not only for me. I don’t take that as a whole lightly, thus the paywall/barrier because despite how anyone may take it I’m absolutely not treating this like a moment to go all Regina George and throw around my burn book for fun. This entire situation has sucked—full stop. It’s been very stressful to navigate, it’s put me at odds with individuals I care about, I have felt like I couldn’t say what I actually think because it would be acting in opposition and as a disservice in trying to deescalate the whole thing. It’s made me feel shocked, confused, paralyzed, frustrated, sick, and enraged all at once and ultimately, it resulted in something I am horrified and so, so angered by.

So given all of that why publish anything at all? Why offer up “my side of the story” so to speak? Well. I don’t think this is the kind of thing that’s going to just “end.” Should I be unfortunately correct about that (and it’s making the rounds on Reddit again so…I probably am) I feel the need to have somewhere to point people should/when it pops up again. And bigger than that, if I am being given the evidence that there isn’t anyone in my corner who will protect either myself or others—no matter their innocence to the situation at hand—then I have to do something to feel like I am able to defend not only myself but future people who may wrongfully get roped into it. Silence, to me, does nothing.

All of that to say, I gave putting an essay that goes into everything to this extent out there an astronomical amount of thought. I vehemently do not take doing so lightly. I’m trying to do it and “address it” in the most responsible and fair way I can. This is where I have landed.

If you don’t want to pay to read the whole deal, so respect that. You can DM me for the highlights/TLDR if you want. Or I can tell you the whole saga over hopefully a very, very, very full Aperol Spritz someday in person.